


ain't got much but what i got's mine

by notthebigspoon



Series: the boys of summer [3]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe the leaving and lack of contact is some kind of message, a not exactly subtle way of telling Hector that it's over between them. After all, Ryan's a free agent now. There's not telling where he'll be come spring training. Maybe he has no intention at all of returning.</p><p>Titles taken from Like I Roll by Black Stone Cherry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ain't got much but what i got's mine

The parade isn't really the same without Ryan. They'd all been wondering what he would wear, if he'd finally follow through on getting hundreds of dollars in ones and making it rain, if he'd be able to stay in his convertible or if he'd constantly be jumping out and running around the street. But when they all start arriving, he's not there. Family emergency, Bochy tells them. He's gone home to Louisiana and that's all the details that he has. The team trades uneasy and concerned looks, worried but too caught up in the excitement of the day to be worried all that long. They don't forget him all together, but he's not in the forefront of anyone's mind.

Anyone except Hector.

He wonders just what's going on, what could possibly be so bad that Ryan would take off without a word, without any warning at all. He'd given Hector no indication that he might be leaving. Then again, he hasn't spoken to Hector at all since they'd returned to San Francisco, not answering a text or returning a phone call. Hector had shrugged it off, figuring he was probably tired and that they'd see each other at the parade. But now he's not sure. Maybe the leaving and lack of contact is some kind of message, a not exactly subtle way of telling Hector that it's over between them. After all, Ryan's a free agent now. There's not telling where he'll be come spring training. Maybe he has no intention at all of returning.

Hector blinks hard, tells himself it's the chill in the air that's making his eyes sting the way that they are. He climbs into his own convertible, takes a breath to center himself, prepared for miles of faking a smile. He hears his name and turns, frowning when Pablo jogs over and leans up against the car, a look of concern on his usually smiling face.

“You gonna be okay pandito?”

“I'm fine. No big.”

“What's wrong with Theriot that's got you looking like someone ran over your dog?”

Hector shrugs. “No idea, haven't talked to him since we got off the plane. Him since we got off the plane yesterday. I guess he's busy. Emergency and all that.”

“You didn't know he was gone?” Pablo demands. He looks angry. Ryan's probably in trouble the next time that Pablo sees him.

“Not until Bochy told us.” Hector answers, gesturing behind him. “Looks like they're about to start. You should probably get to your spot.”

Pablo gives Hector a look that says the conversation isn't over, just tabled until the parade is over. That's fine by Hector. Between this and the thing at city hall, he has plenty of time to think up an excuse for not going anywhere but home when it's all over. He'll probably have to plan an escape route as well. Pablo will be doing his damndest not to let Hector squirm his way out of this one. It's a little aggravating. Hector's an adult, he can take care of himself. And it's not like talking about it will change the fact that it happened or bring Ryan back.

Great. Now he's talking like Ryan is dead or something.

It's easier to smile during the parade than he thought it would be. The air is charged with happiness and excitement. He sees all of the fans and that trophy and thinks about the fact that he was a part of it, that he helped make this happen. Not bad work, if he does say so himself. He finds the grins coming more easily and when they reach city hall, he's almost forgotten that his boyfriend left him without a word. Almost. Whenever he feels the storm clouds gathering over his head, he finds himself looking to Pablo or or one of the other Venezuelan guys for reassurance, slipping in close for a stolen hug. A little contact to remind himself that no matter what that mean little voice in the back of his head says, he's not alone.

In spite of any planned attempts to avoid Pablo, he finds himself catching a ride home with the older man. After all the noise today, the quiet is overwhelming and he reaches over, turning the radio up loud. Pablo looks at him, starts to speak but Hector just looks back out the window. He doesn't need comforting words and kind lies. And Pablo doesn't need to be worrying about Hector when he has Molina waiting for him at home. Besides, it's not all that bad. Maybe Ryan has a good reason. A really good reason. He'd better.

He thanks Pablo for the ride when he gets to his place, reaching for the door handle when Pablo's hand closes on his shoulder. He immediately shakes his head, holding a hand up. “I'm fine. It's probably nothing at all and if it is... well, things like that happen sometimes. Nothing you can do about it.”

“You don't really feel that way.” Pablo argues, huffing. “Your first boyfriend just _ditched_ you. You're freaking out, admit it.”

“Go home Pablo. Molina is probably wondering what's keeping you. I'm fine, I'll talk to you later.”

He's out of the car and heading into his building before Pablo can say anything else. He grabs his mail in the lobby and takes the stairs to his floor. Waffles is waiting for him when he opens the door, rubbing around his ankles and hopping into his lap when he drops onto the couch. The purring and the nuzzles make him smile again as he flips through his mail. Bills and a letter from his mother. The bills are put aside to be paid. The letter goes straight into the trash.

Their relationship hasn't improved in any way since the night that his family walked out on him. Phone calls have went unanswered and all the letters contain is admonitions to 'come to his senses' and end things with Ryan, that if he does, all will be forgiven and they can be a proper family again. He's resisted it, ignored every unkind word just as easily as the pleas. It hadn't been difficult. He told himself that Ryan was worth it. And he was always making Hector feel happy, feel important, maybe even feel loved. He was worth all of it.

He hopes Ryan feels the same way about him. If he doesn't, if all of this is all over, Hector will never hear the end of it from his family.

There's no phone call or messages that night of the next. On the third day, after grabbing his phone every five minutes, he decides to make himself stop waiting. It's easier said than done and he finds himself doing whatever he can to stay busy. He thinks about fall ball or winter ball and decides against it. He's really in no mood or mind to go back to Venezuela, not with practically everyone he knows there refusing to have anything to do with him. He could take a vacation but there's nowhere he wants to go, at least nowhere he wants to go alone.

Staying in San Francisco is really his only option. And it won't be so bad. The other guys have various plans for coming back, football games and hockey games and other events. There's no doubt that he'll have company. When they find out he's staying in the city for the winter, they start calling and making plans. Romo sleeps on his couch for a few days and drags him out for a football game, rolling his eyes every time Hector grumpily mutter that it's American football, not _real_ football. When he goes home, he hugs Hector, extends an offer for Hector to come and visit in Arizona.

The apartment is far too quiet after he leaves, the loss of his personality making the space impossibly empty. Hector's just lonely. After months of living in a bubble, everyone always in each others pockets and each others business, the sudden lack of human contact is difficult, especially when the person he most wants to speak to hasn't contacted him in almost two weeks. Hector stopped trying in the first week. He's not going to chase anyone, especially not someone who practically ran away from him. He's not, even though he really sort of wants to throw dignity out of the window and to it anyway, push until he gets some sort of response.

He lays out on the couch, staring at the ceiling and trying to make up his mind if the water stain Romo pointed out is a duck or just an amorphous blob when the door rattles as someone knocks. He frowns and gets up, padding toward the door. If it's Pablo come to check on him, he will be aggravated. The idiot is supposed to be in Miami with his boyfriend, not trying to babysit Hector because he thinks Hector's depressed. Which Hector is, but Pablo doesn't need to know that. When the door rattles again, he yells for them to keep their pants on, he's coming, before yanking the door open.

Ryan gives him an apologetic look. Hector slams the door in his face. For a few seconds there's silence, followed by a thump and Ryan's muffled voice.

“Okay, I deserved that.”

“You're damn right you did.”

“Look, Hector, I'm sorry. I can explain baby, really I can.”

Hector closes his eyes and shakes his head slowly before cracking the door and stepping outside. He tugs the door shut behind him and leans back against it, arms crossed over his chest. “Well. Start explaining.”

“I had to finalize my divorce. And Johnnah started making changes to the custody agreement. It took a while.”

“... you told me you weren't together anymore. You didn't tell me you were still married.” Hector is struggling to keep himself in check, to not let his anger get the best of him, to keep from shouting.

“We're _not_ together anymore.” Ryan insists. “And I never said I'd gotten a divorce. I said we weren't together anymore and that's the truth. We'd filed for divorce. There's a one year wait in Louisiana if you got kids.”

“The divorce was fucking implied!” Hector snaps. “Was I just convenient or something, Theriot? A warm body for your bed while you had a pretty wife and kids back at home? Is that it?”

“No. It's not like that and you know it. You mean more than that, you always have since we met.”

Hector snorts. “I also _knew_ you weren't married anymore. When it turns out that I don't actually _know_ anything but that you lied to me. And don't try that you didn't say you'd gotten a divorce crap. Lying by omission is still lying.”

“I'm sorry-”

“And not only that, but you tell me nothing. You do not take my calls. You do not return my messages. Just nothing, for weeks. I thought maybe I had done something wrong.” Hector says softly. “I was wondering what I might have done to drive you away. And it turned out I had done nothing at all... you're just an asshole.”

“That's not fair.” Ryan looks hurt but Hector doesn't really care anymore. “I love you.”

“Then maybe you should not have done what you did.” Hector mutters, turning and opening the door of his apartment, starting to step back inside. Ryan grabs his arm.

“I'm sorry I never told you I wasn't actually divorced yet. I'm sorry I didn't tell you why I left and I'm sorry that I didn't answer when you called. I'm sorry I didn't return your messages. And... and I'm sorry you had to spend your birthday alone.”

Hector closes his eyes and tips his head back against the door, shaking his head. “Didn't spend it alone. Lincecum came by. Brought me a cake.”

“I was going to take you out for dinner now that I'm back.” Ryan says softly. “I got you a present and everything. And I know you're mad. You deserve to be. But... I really am sorry. And it's not going to happen again. I just. I wanted to get everything straightened out. I was worried about losing my kids. They're um, I'm going back to Baton Rouge in a couple days to see them. I thought maybe you could go.”

His boyfriend is an idiot. His heart is a traitor, because Hector wants to be mad at Ryan but he can already feel the anger melting away. Not that he has any plans to make it easy on Ryan but he can't bring himself to tell Ryan to fuck off. He loves the guy too much. And that's something he never thought he'd be saying, that he loved any guy, much less a complete whack job from Louisiana that always looks like he got dressed in the dark. He sighs and shakes his head, turning and opening the door, stepping inside. He can hear a hitch in Ryan's breath and then the whoosh of relief when Hector doesn't shut the door behind himself.

“You owe me, Theriot. You owe me so fucking big. Any funny business in Baton Rouge and I _leave_ your ass.”

When Ryan steps up behind him, wraps his arms around Hector's torso and rests his chin on Hector's shoulder. He smells fantastic. “That's fair.”

His words are followed by the press of his lips against Hector's neck. Hector closes a hand over his arm and smiles.


End file.
